Shabbat Parashat Yitro - 5782

Shabbat Parashat Yitro - 5782

Rabbi Hal Miller You shall not covet your fellow's house. You shall not covet your fellow's wife, his manservant, his maidservant, his ox, his donkey, nor anything that belongs to your fellow. [Shemot 20:14] What does it mean that we are not to covet? Can we be commanded not to think or feel some way? The phrase used in our verse is lo tachmod, you will not covet. A second word could have been used, ta'avah. Dictionaries tend to use the same definitions for both, or nearly so, including lust, desire, long, carnal desire. There must be a reason the Torah chose one over the other in our verse. To limit our investigation we note the prior verse included the command to not commit adultery, thus "covet your fellow's wife" presumably does not involve doing that particular action. A second point to consider is that the form of the word used is a future tense verb, where most other forms of both chemed and ta'avah are nouns. This seems to indicate some specific action. In fact Rav Hirsch, among others, specifies that chemed deals with action, and ta'avah with thought. But we just noted that the action involved was just prohibited in the prior verse. Thus many commentators say that this verse is directed at thought. Mechilta points us to Devarim [5:18], "And you shall not covet your fellow's wife, you shall not desire your fellow's house, his field, his slave, his maidservant, his ox, his donkey, or anything that belongs to your fellow." Referring to the wife, the word is tachmod, but referring to the rest of the list the Torah uses ti'taveh. This is a change from our verse where tachmod is used for both. Mechilta says this is two commands. But what are these commands? Rambam says that both are actually prohibiting action, that thought leads to action. Others disagree and say that thought itself is what was prohibited. So what is this prohibiting thought about? Beis HaLevi and others note that feelings and thoughts are automatic. They come to us without our intent, thus cannot be controlled the way actions can be. He poses a story where someone with some thought is suddenly endangered, and forgets all about the thought. It is our responsibility to recognize the danger when we think one of these prohibited thoughts, and to conquer it. His descendant, Rav Joseph B. Soloveitchik writes that man is the master over his emotional world, capable of disowning feelings or emotions, however compulsive or powerful. It is for this that our verse commands against coveting and lusting. Nechama Leibowitz follows this when she writes that "man's desires are controllable and do not overpower his reason, on the contrary his feelings can be governed by his outlook and way of life." Interestingly, both of our words can appear in forms that include positives, such as grace, charm, beauty, delight, treasured, etc. The Torah is not telling us not to have bad thoughts, rather to defeat them whenever they occur. The commandments tell us to change from the bad uses to good ones, to govern ourselves by a Torah way of life.