Purim - 5784

Purim - 5784

Rabbi Hal Miller

(Reminder: It is traditional that on Purim we read "Purim Torah". These are fashioned in the same

way as regular divrei Torah, but are humorous, nonsensical, and often just plain silly. Any "rulings"

of law herein are expressly disclaimed as being jokes, not serious. Oh, and bear in mind you're

supposed to be a little schicker when you read it.  --HM)

Those of you who have been following my writings over the past twenty-seven years are aware of the

"Halachos of" series I put out for Purim each year. This year, our discussion topic is the Halachos of

Turning 70.

As we age, we all go through many physical and emotional changes, most of which are well known

and are not the subject of a Purim essay. However, there are some halachic ramifications to the

aging process.

For example, it is common for us to say, "When I have time, I will learn Torah", meaning after retiring.

But the halacha is that since we do not know how long we will live, we are not allowed to put it off

until that hypothetical day in the future when all our secular projects are completed. If we have

reached 70 and have not dedicated much time to learning, we are required to get at it immediately.

Another example. The Gemora describes for us the ages at which we are no longer subject to various

punishments from heaven, beginning at age 50. Once we reach 60, we are supposed to mark each

decade in some fashion, often noted to be a siyum. Thus at 70, according to this opinion, the halacha

would require a siyum. But not everybody agrees with that.

Tehillim [90:10] tells us that 70 is considered old age, and 80 is "with strength". Setting aside the

fact that people in the stories of the Torah lived much longer than these numbers, and setting aside

any discussion as to why most people nowadays do not, what does it mean to be in old age or with

strength? Given how much more physically limited we are at these ages, how can it be called strong?

Perhaps the halacha is because we must act with strength to do the things we used to do with ease.

Or maybe because it takes the strength of others to help us do those things we used to do on our

own. In either case, the real question is what are we supposed to do with all that strength? This

especially since the halachas involved seem to assume that we will not have such strength.

Laws that we find to be in place as we age cover things such as:

- slow downs

- speed ups

- physical shrinkage

- subject matter of conversations

- bathroom visits

- bucket list

- time to read

- I can still do this

- financial planning

- memory loss

Let us spend a little bit of that precious 70 to 80 year time reviewing the halachas in these areas.

- Slow Downs

The halacha is that we are not supposed to move as quickly as we used to. Runners lose some

speed, walkers go slower. We tend to get off balance and take some stagger-steps off to the

sides, reducing our forward speed. "Little old granny/grandpa" drivers are well known for driving

well below speed limits (other than the little old lady Jan and Dean used to sing about), to the point

of causing much annoyance and probably some collisions among those who try to get around them.

But the halacha is not limited to physical actions, but requires that we think more slowly as well,

which is often mistakenly interpreted as a sign of wisdom. See Memory Loss, below.

- Speed Ups

Time seems to fly faster around us as we age. Einstein and other physicists proved that time is

relative to the observer. As the observer moves around, time changes, even though the observer

does not notice. This changing happens also as the observer ages, but in the aging process it

becomes highly noticeable to that observer, something Einstein did not comment on. For example,

at the end of the day, a retired person thinks, I was so busy today, how did I ever fit in a full

workday in the past? See Memory Loss, below.

- Physical Shrinkage

Yes, there are medical proofs about spinal discs and such, but the halacha is that we are supposed

to become physically smaller than we used to be. We can no longer reach things in the back of a

shelf or on the next shelf up. The idea is that we are supposed to call for help rather than take the

chance of climbing on a stepstool, although we regularly go fetch the stool and forget that we are

not supposed to do this. See I Can Still Do This, and Memory Loss, both below.

- Subject Matter of Conversations

The halacha requires that as we age, the majority of the time we spend talking to others must be

dedicated to pains, doctor visits, and medications. Most of the rest of it must involve what our

grandchildren have done within the last ten years. If we have nothing new to add to our previous

conversations, we are to rehash it anyway. See Memory Loss, below.

- Bathroom Visits

The halacha requires that we go more often and spend more time in bathrooms, and that we

schedule our days and travels around these visits. We are required to learn where the bathroom

is in the grocery store and the doctor's office. We must have shelves stocked with supplements

that are supposed to help us accomplish these bathroom visits, although remembering to take

them is not within this halacha. See Memory Loss, below.

- Bucket List

All our lives until now we had a hankering to do many things that we just never found the time to

do. We planned to run through them after retirement, but of course the halacha stands in the way

in that we no longer have the ability to do most of them. A side benefit of aging is that most of us

cannot recall what was on the list, only that we had such a list. See I Can Still Do This, and

Memory Loss, both below.

- Time to Read (or other favorite way to pass the day)

Now that we have the time, the halacha is that we can no longer read for more than a short

period before our eyes tire. The halacha also requires that we use bookmarks, as we would never

get off a single page if we relied on remembering what we had read. See Memory Loss, below.

- I Can Still Do This

The halacha clearly says that, no you can't. This is deflating and often embarrassing when we

try anyway. The body degenerates, we are not as flexible as we were, arthritis sets in, and we

are definitely not in as good a condition as we used to be. See Subject Matter of Conversations,

above. What we say is, I was able to do it last time I tried, but when asked when that was, we are

unable to recall. See Memory Loss, below.

- Financial Planning

No matter how much effort you put into it during your working life, the halacha is that at this point

that effort will prove insufficient. We try to ensure there will be enough money to last us the rest

of our lives in the comfort we want and style of living we always wished for. If you put away a lot

of money, the halacha is that either inflation or medical bills will exceed your expectations. If you

put away only a small amount, the halacha is that your children will need it before you do. The

good part is that if you go in knowing this and ensure your kids can cover you when needed, you

will find that your golfing ability degenerates to the point you won't be on the expensive courses

any more anyway. See Subject Matter of Conversations, above. Besides, you'll forget what that

desired lifestyle looked like anyway. See Memory Loss, below.

- Memory Loss

Ah, finally, we get to the root and the essence of the halacha. We are wired to forget things we

used to remember immediately. Do I remember your name? Of course I do. Do I remember what we

were talking about a moment ago? Absolutely. But the halacha is that, whether I remember or not,

I have to make it seem to you that I've forgotten. Of course, if you are of 'advanced age' as well,

you might not even notice. And if you do, the halacha is that you must make it seem that you don't.

We certainly remember everything, short term and long term. We just can't recall them this second

but it will come back, usually in the middle of the night. See Slow Downs, above.

We are supposed to learn constantly, to stretch our minds. We are supposed to interact with more

people, to be a good influence on them, to be influenced by them, and to assist each other through

the experiences of life. The good thing about the halacha of memory loss is that we are constantly

meeting "new" friends, having "new" experiences, learning "new" words and names, all without

leaving the comfort of the living room. See I Can Still Do This, above.

All of these halachas are the Torah's way of teaching us that we must learn to accept that we are

not in charge of the world, even if we used to think we were. By needing to rely now on other people

for some things we used to do ourselves, we recognize that we are mere mortals, created by our

real Master, and that our physical strength is limited.

So, what is the issue with the 80 being "with strength"? The halachas show that we must build our

spiritual strength, rather than rely on physical strength. If we do, then we will reach the older ages

"with strength".

Purim Sameach! (Or was it Pesach......?)