Shabbos Parashas Chayei Sarah - 5779

Shabbos Parashas Chayei Sarah - 5779

Rabbi Hal Miller

And I will have you swear by Hashem, God of heaven and God of the land, that you will not

take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell. Rather

to my land and to my birthplace shall you go and take a wife for my son, for Yitzchak.

[Bereishis 24:3-4]

Avraham is very specific in his instructions to Eliezer to find a wife for Yitzchak but make

certain not to look in the Canaanite tribes. There has to be a lesson for us in this distinction.

Chizkuni views it as Avraham's prophetic understanding that people in the future would contest

Israel's ownership. He writes, "Avraham did not want anyone to think that his family acquired the

land by inheritance, gift, or intermarriage, rather that only that God gave it to them."

Radak is worried, not so much about what other nations might say or think, rather about the

wholesomeness and safety of the Jewish people. He writes, "For the entire Canaanite tribe is

cursed since the days of Noach, and Avraham's seed is not to be merged with that of a cursed tribe."

Nechama Leibowitz brings the Midrash Hagadol that Avraham's business is proselytization, and that

he should be working first among his own family. But, she points out, God told Avraham to leave

his family, thus this explanation is difficult. She brings Ramchal, who takes the same view as does

Chizkuni, and adds that it "would have precluded the Israelites from later expelling them from the land."

But Nechama says, that this is "far-fetched. The land was promised to Avraham."

Most commentators seem to settle on the view that our question should be why Avraham chose

one set of idolators over the other, since both the Canaanites and his family in the old country

worshiped idols equally. Abarbanel explains the question that based on idol worship, certainly neither

one was better than the other, thus there must be more to it. He notes that Yitzchak later forbid

Yaakov from marrying a local girl because of the problems he experienced when Eisav did so, but

Avraham had no such experience. Even moreso, notes Abarbanel, Avraham's prohibition included

the "good" Canaanites, such as Aner and Eshkol, his intimate local friends, but did not forbid "bad"

relatives back in Aram Naharaim.

Malbim explains Rabbeinu Nissim, who divided mitzvos into two groups. One group influences a

person's character, and the other group is limited to his mind. Those that influence the character

mold personality and continue to influence one's descendants, beyond what education or social

pressure can counteract. The other guides correct thinking, which can be impacted by external

influence and education. Guiding one's thinking can easily be countered by the influence of others

around them, whereas changing one's character is not so simple. Thus, it would be much easier

to change the thinking and behavior of a girl who already had the built-in good character traits,

than it would be to instill good character traits even into a girl who displayed good behavior.

Thus, Avraham's concern is not idolatry as such, rather immorality in behavior.

Rav Hirsch notes Avraham's words about dwelling in the midst of the Canaanites. The girl's

family influence would be everywhere, whereas one from far away would have no local influence

other than Avraham and his entourage.

People who are evil are not the same as people who are merely "deluded in their beliefs". We

must stay away from the evil, and work to improve the understanding of those who are only

lacking good education and influence.