Shabbos Parashas Acharei Mos - 5774

Shabbos Parashas Acharei Mos - 5774

Rabbi Hal Miller

Each man shall not approach his relative who is near to uncover nakedness,

I am the L-rd. [Vayikra 18:6]

For generations now we have had it ingrained in us that sexual relations with

close relatives is wrong. Why is the Torah teaching us this, at this point in

the narrative?

We know from our midrashim that this prohibition caused great angst amongst

the people of Israel when, in our verse, it was put down as a law. Was this

family-familiarity such a common practice? Apparently it was.

Ramban points out that, as is often the case, the Torah commandment is not

supported by an explanation. He says, "The reason for the prohibition against

sexual immorality regarding close relatives is not explicit." In each situation

where explanations are not given, the commentators provide numerous alternates

to help us better perform the commandment. Rambam, for example, says that it

is "to limit cohabitation and to disdain it and to make do with little of it."

Sforno has an interesting take on the verse. He writes, "Logic would suppose

that offspring from genetically related parents would result in superior human

beings." But this is not a reason for the Torah to have prohibited it, rather

the reverse. Sforno explains, "This is valid only if both parties are motivated

exclusively by the desire to carry out G-d's will. However the vast majority

of people are only driven by the desire to gratify their libido." This begins

to resemble the Rambam's position. But Sforno continues, "See that close

relatives, usually living under the same roof, have ample opportunity to

engage in illegitimate sexual relations, and not only do they find it

enjoyable but they do not consider it at all sinful. Such pairings will

hardly ever be for the purpose of marriage." Sforno is telling us that, like

the animal kingdom, sex is for the purpose of reproduction of the species,

and that the physical closeness of family life would lead to promiscuous sex

solely for physical pleasure.

Ramban points out that prior to the giving of the Torah, even our forefathers

had no problem with marital relations with close family members. Avraham and

Sarah were related, Yitzchak and Rivka were related, and Yaakov married

sisters. Why was this issue different for them than it has been ever since?

Rav Hirsch has our answer. First he differentiates between man and the other

species of living things. Man does not limit the sexual act only to the

business of reproduction. G-d Himself brought the first woman to the first

man and gave them the interest to take this physical act to another level.

He gave the act an additional purpose, to unite the souls of a man and a

woman. He notes that the "world went to its ruin morally and socially from

the time when, with their choice of mates, men did not obey G-d's will but

only listened to their own caprice." One might ask, if G-d gave mankind the

ability to enjoy this physical act, who are we to question His decision?

But the real question for Rav Hirsch is why G-d would have given this in the

first place. He says it was "to obtain a priestly nation and a holy people

in the midst of, and for the salvation of, mankind which had gone astray."

Thus, G-d gave us this capability in order that we use it for good.

What is the 'good' involved here?

First, as Rav Hirsch explained, a man and a woman combine with G-d to create

new life. This elevates the act to the level of holiness.

Second, he tells us that "a mother cannot become a wife without

ceasing to be a mother, a sister can not be a wife without ceasing to be a

sister, etc." Since family relationships are established automatically, with

bonds of love, changing them into something else breaks the original relation

and risks psychological harm. We do not allow that harm if we can avoid it.

Familiarity breeds contempt.

Third, as we read three verses earlier, "Do not perform the practice of the

land of Egypt in which you dwelled, and do not perform the practice of the

land of Canaan to which I bring you, and do not follow their traditions."

This can easily be summarized. Our role in this world is to achieve holiness.

A few, such as our patriarchs and matriarchs, were already holy. For the rest

of us, we must use every power at our disposal to advance ourselves in this

regard. To use a power for destructive or wasteful purposes is the exact

opposite of holiness. To use it, within its proper limits, for good is why

G-d gave it to us.